Sometimes it surprises me how long I can go without getting upset about my dad, despite the fact that I think about it so often. But it is amazing the things that make me think about him. Sometimes people will say things and I will think of my dad and it will make me feel lonely, and sad. Sad because right now is a period of time where I don’t know anything. It is a time where all we are doing is waiting. There is very little to talk about, to be angry at, or to cry about. But it’s also a dreadful feeling not knowing what is coming next. Knowing that soon I will be gone, hardly seeing my dad because of college. And it’s horrible because now, when I should be spending time with him, I’m not nearly as often as I could. It’s hard though, because it’s an effort that he does not make. He does not suggest to me that he wants me to spend more time with him. He is so normal and seems oblivious. For me is like a sign hanging on a door and I hate that.

Nothing is more exhilerating than driving through flooded streets while taking pictures of the mass chaos that surrounds the downtown area!

So I spend nearly 8 hours a day in a swim suit… about 4 of those hours I am physically in the water… And all 8 hours are spent surrounded by kiddies. People say, wow, you are lucky to have a job like that, working with kids. And I agree, yes, I do love working with the kids and having fun and being in the water. (ok not so much the water part b/c I think it’s too cold). But.. after a few weeks it gets old, being there every day… at least 8 hours a day, if not more.. dealing with kids who want to swim all over, kids who don’t want to swim, kids who like to make trouble.. It gets old. surprise, right? So, for the longest time I’ve thought, I’m not ever going to have kids. I’m not the type of person who will have kids. I’m the type of person who will be so involved in my work and things that I want to do with my life that kids won’t be an option for me. I would be the type of mother who would be too busy to spend enough time with her children. And after this summer, this fact, the fact that I should not and will not have kids, has been reiterated, sad as it may be.

I don’t understand poking on facebook… I just don’t get it. Someone please explain to me that point of poking…

Lying is one of those things that can be interpreted so many different ways… For instance, is it a lie when you leave a particular detail out of a story so you don’t hurt someone’s feelings? Or is that just saving their feelings? It is, of course, not telling all that you could, but does that hurt anyone? There is such a gray area with lying, which is ironic. Of all things to be black and white, lying should be one, don’t you think? But what is the main cause of falling apart relationships etc? Lying or some form of deception is. How strange that we don’t know better and that it is so hard to differentiate when a truth becomes a lie, or when a lie becomes painful.

energy is one of those things that builds on itself. the more u keep going the easier it is. when u stop, that’s when everything comes crashing down and you realize, “hey, i’m not the energizer bunny”. so my motto this week is, just keep going just keep goingg!!!!

I love thunderstorms. They are amazing. Not only does the sky look awesome, but when it thunderstorms I don’t have to work because I work at a pool. So everytime I wake up and the sky is clouded over I am happy because it may just be because it’s about the thunderstorm.