Emotions are powerful and lasting. Some emotions are overwhelming, some are uncontrollable, some painful and others wonderful. Why? Some people may ask, Why is there pain, why is there sadness? But it is inevitable. Because without the pain there is no love. Because pain roots from love. No person feels pain if they have not felt love. So when your heart is broken, when you don’t want to move, when you’re frozen with agony, know that it is ok. Because you have felt something wonderful. And even when pain comes, that love that there was, and still is, makes it worth it. Humans developed emotions for survival. We look out for each other and care about each other. And without that the world would be such a different place. There wouldn’t be so many things we know today. Fear, anger, love, pain, happiness. Without them, we could not survive.

someone said something today that sort of hurt me, not intentionally and i am not upset at all that s/he said it because i am under the full realization that s/he did not realize what s/he said and don’t blame him/her because I understand what s/he meant, but anyways, it touched me in a different way. yes, s/he said something to the affect that if you couldn’t do everything you wanted you should shoot yourself because there would be no point to living. well this sort of made me think because my dad cannot do what he wants all the time. he has to lay in bed a lot more now with his treatment which makes him miserable; he is the most active person i know. so you see, people lose their ability to do things in order to survive… so i don’t understand really how the lack of those abilities would be a reason to take away life. life is something that most people don’t think about. and most people care less about their own than others life’s. it would be selfish for someone to not want to live because of a few disabilities. there are always people out there who care. so this comment made me realize that nothing matters in life without the people you care for. and i think that most people realize this on a certain level but only few people really know this. Spending time with people you care about is more important than anything. and people are only granted so many opportunities to be together with one another, and it is a shame when you let those opportunities go or waste them. the second part of my revelation is the following: there are things that cause permanent pain in life, like being paralysed, and there are other things in life that are like a needle poking you, or breaking your arm. being paralysed affects you for the rest of your life. but if you break your arm, you will heal. some things heal faster than others. so really, dwelling on a broken arm doesn’t help because eventually it will be normal, eventually you won’t even remember the pain. but being paralyzed, is something unforgettable. it’s something that must be delt with every day. it is something that you cannot avoid.

Sometimes the world goes round
while you’re standing still
sometimes you can’t forget
and nothing seems real
sometimes you don’t want to let go
take everything with you
sometimes nothing seems right
and there’s nothing you can do
sometimes you don’t feel like you’re in your mind
you’re going insane
sometimes the world’s so crazy
it’s just causing pain
sometimes you go through the motions
but don’t take in the sound
sometimes you want to cry loud
but think in your tears you’ll drown
sometimes you want to quit
just say goodbye
sometimes life goes on
and you don’t know why

Internal eyes work like the galaxy
I change and differ, it’s so confounding.
Resembling the heart of fire within my head
Just as the stars in the sky are moving.

My mind shifts like the sun and the shadow moon
It’s in the vein of the darkness waiting to unfold,
The sound of pristine rain waiting to fall,
And the refreshing sense of the ringing cold.

I contemplate as stars go bright then dim
Colors of skylight flash while rearranging
I know I won’t see the same sky again
Just like a human, forever changing.

If life was easy
I’d laugh and smile each minute of each day of the week
There’d be no trouble and happiness-no one would seek
If life was easy
I’d be making millions every single year that I live
I’d never have to worry, there’d be no poor for my money, to give
If life was easy
I’d never have to shed a tear for any lonely stressful nights
I’d feel fulfilled, there’d be no problems-it’d be alright
If life was easy
I’d have no need for morals because I’d never learn from mistakes
All I’d have is a life so full of perfectness
If life was easy
There’d be no journy to take
Instead of living I’d be boring
Instead of learning
Instead of experiencing
If life was easy

Why do you have to put us through so much pain?
he was fine before he saw you
but now he’s not the same
you lied to him doctor, told him something wrong
a blood vessel? but it grew till finally you took it off
but that took…6 months
or was it more?
before you figured out it wasn’t a blood vessel after all
you’re lucky it wasn’t longer and you gave him 30%
but doctor he’s not the type to take any stupid meds
he knows whats what and figured things out himself
because you lied doctor and told him something else
Christmas morning doctor, thats when i found out
that his new diet hadn’t really helped
and then he left two days to visit someone real
and doctor, we found out you had lied some more
surgery? are you trying to make it worse?
the experts told us what you said was absurd
but doctor, what hurts me most, is before he gets better,
he has to get worse
for what? 5% 7% 45% for improvement?
is it worth it to be miserable
will this even work?

Why are the stars so far away
when heaven is supposed to be close?
And if i should die the very next day
is that where you think i’ll go?
Why does summer make grass so green
and winter create snow so white?
Why won’t money grow on tall trees
if we plant them ever so right?
And if I should wake the very next day
With salt staining through my red eyes
Would you say a small prayer for me,
and believe that there is a God?
Why don’t the rich give to the poor
and the poor try to work their way?
Why does the sun rise every day
except when the skies full of gray?
And if I don’t believe angels are real
Would you pity how I choose to live?
Or would you just sit there
the very next day
Not even giving a damn?